Pink File

2010-03-11T20:25:00.000-05:00

Es idiota el consumo de mi tiempo contigo

2010-02-19T17:40:00.001-05:00

Imagine you and me...

2010-02-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

I wrote you letter. It has my heart in it.

2010-02-03T11:08:00.001-05:00

I think I found the strength...

2010-01-29T13:57:00.000-05:00

D, Te bendigo con amor y te libero de mi vida.

2010-01-03T22:58:00.002-05:00

I wish I could write more often and more happy writing... seems like I get the most inspired by saddness, the same saddness I feel today...It's never easy to say goodbye to someone you still care about...I think that's why I havent found the strength to say it, I don't want to, but I do...sounds so confusing, but really it isnt...I want to care for me as much as I care for you. If I did...you'd be out of my life a long time ago, and I wouldnt allow you to play (even if it's not intentionally) with my heart and my feelings like you do.

My heart is weak, it always has been, it lacks inteligence too, You must know that with out it I am a strong, inteligent, independent woman who knows exactly what she wants, I can be as cold as ice, (you can ask my mother, she knows, I learned it from her) usually I am...If my heart had stayed out of this "whatever it is we have" you would know that Rita. Sadly... and completely against my will... you don't, The Rita you know is weak, is totally transparent, she can't even hide tears from you...She is sweet and giving, she is thoughtfull and loyal, She is understanding and naive, She is sad most of the time and her mood depends completely on you, as does her faith.

The real me, wants to say goodbye, if not to you at least to that Rita.

2009-07-26T23:15:00.001-04:00

B...Te bendigo con amor y te libero de mi vida.

Sent from my iPhone

Se que es una poesía vieja pero ni mis propias palabras podrían explicar mejor lo que siento.

2009-07-14T23:44:00.001-04:00

Se que es una poesía vieja pero ni mis propias palabras podrían
explicar mejor lo que siento.

Pasarás por mi vida sin saber que pasaste.
Pasarás en silencio por mi amor y, al pasar,
fingiré una sonrisa como un dulce contraste
del dolor de quererte... y jamás lo sabrás.

Soñaré con el nácar virginal de tu frente,
soñaré con tus ojos de esmeraldas de mar,
soñaré con tus labios desesperadamente,
soñaré con tus besos... y jamás lo sabrás.

Quizás pases con otro que te diga al oído
esas frases que nadie como yo te dirá;
y, ahogando para siempre mi amor inadvertido,
te amaré más que nunca... y jamás lo sabrás.

Yo te amaré en silencio... como algo inaccesible,
como un sueño que nunca lograré realizar;
y el lejano perfume de mi amor imposible
rozará tus cabellos... y jamás lo sabrás.

Y si un día una lágrima denuncia mi tormento,
—el tormento infinito que te debo ocultar—,
te diré sonriente: «No es nada... ha sido el viento».
Me enjugaré una lágrima... ¡y jamás lo sabrás!

José Ángel Buesa

Sent from my iPhone

Tu imaginacion me encontro

2009-01-26T16:02:00.003-05:00

Llorar por dentro en aquel restaurante ya era costumbre para mi, era mas que evidente que ir aquel lugar era mas mi salida "para que no me queje" que otra cosa, total, mientras el se la pasaba en el telefono en sus dichosas llamadas de "negocios" yo simplemente me ahogaba en mi botella de champaña con jugo de melocoton, el mesero de siempre, ya solo nos veia entrar y sabia que traerme.

La tristeza se me ha de ver, pues creo que este mesero trata de hacerme reir , no se bien lo que me dijo, pero creo que fue chistoso, me hundo en mis pensamientos y en una rabia que me causa el dolor que llevo dentro por haberme resignado a esta vida tan vacia, mientras miro a mi derecha y veo unas llamas ... porque cojoyo hara el mesero una fogata ahi? casi me rio pero, pruebo mi champaña y me doy cuenta que mientras el esta haciendo fogatas el mesero que me preparo esta copa deberia de buscarse otro trabajo, mientras, llega mi mesero ofreciendome postre, prefiero irme, no aguanto mas estar alli, dejo al cara de idota con su llamada, voy saliendo y siento una mirada fuerte sobre mi, volteo a ver, pensando que era el, pero no, no era el, como era de esperarse, mas bien era el mesero que me miraba con ojitos dulces, consolando mi dolor, quiza con ganas de abrazarme, me dieron ganas de correr hacia el.. pero simplemente le regale una sonrisa... y me fui....

123

2009-01-25T09:29:00.001-05:00

Trying out my new iPhone blogger app. ;)

*Rita Batista*
Sent from my iPhone

Te odio

2009-01-21T15:37:00.001-05:00

Te odio

A ti que no avisas cuando vas a llegar
que logras arruinar dias completos de mi vida
y ni hablar de esas noches en vela que me haces
llorar lagrimas de sangre

Te odio,
A ti, que pasan los años y siemplemente me dueles mas
que me has dejado sin ganas de tomarme un trago con mis amigas
y te burlas de las noches que me quedo en cama preguntandome
porque a mi?

Te odio
A ti, que has de ser un castigo en mi vida de algo que habre hecho
en mi otra vida...., porque en esta se que no fue
te odio porque apareces con el simple olor a perfume o a basura
te odio porque no me acostumbro a vivir contigo apesar del tiempo
porque no deberias existir, porque no me dejas vivir....

Y sobretodo te odio porque no me dejas disfrutar de un misero chocolate!

Te odio Mirgraña.. lastima que no tienes cura... :(

The End

2009-01-15T10:17:00.004-05:00

Que poco hablo de ti,

Que pocas ganas me has dejado de hablar de ti

No tengo nada que decir

Pero como?

Y que de tantos años?

Hoy me encontre diciendo que soy una larga historia en tu vida,

solo para rapidamente darme cuenta que no es asi,

y asi de rapido correjirme y mas bien dije "eres una larga historia en mi vida"
Pero no supe que contar..

Me quede muda...

No quise contar...

No vale la pena contar...

No mereces ese espacio en mi memoria...
Ya ni me molesta escuchar las miles de criticas siempre

alquien tiene sobre tu persona

Que bien me siento y que bien respiro.

Cada historia llega a su fin.

It feels really good to realize when you have finally let go.

The End.

Mikhail Baryshnikov

2008-09-17T08:56:00.003-04:00

“Dominican Moves”??

This is for MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV,. Freddy Ginebra and aparantly every single blind newspaper in my country. And so everyone knows how pissed off I am.

I arrived Santo Domingo to spend 1 week in my very loved island, the next day I picked up a copy of the Diario Libre Newspaper and found something that in that moment seemed to me totally marvelous and incredible! MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV was there! And not only was he there but he was also presenting an photography exposition in which he describes in his own words that in those photographs he captured the Dominican Culture and our national Dance. Me, being a fan of Mr. BARYSHNIKOV got all exited and happy, I think I was even nervous, I was so happy that an artist/actor like Mr. BARYSHNIKOV had taken time to make and expose his art in my country.

The next day I ran to the exposition which was held in “Casa de Teatro” a very prestigious art gallery in the Dominican Republic. As I walked in I saw 3 huge photos that I found to be very beautiful, they were of people in a bar and an older couple dancing, the colors where very bright reds and oranges and the movement of the camera shot were excellent and the texture of the same was truly amazing I could have sworn it was a panting and not a photo… in the next few minutes a man came and handed me a glossy paper that had the “artists” words describing his “art” as the Dominican Culture.
As I continued to walk my eyes could not believe what they were seeing and it became totally impossible for me to connect what I was reading with what I was looking at!

MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV presented 16 huge photos of which 12 were solely of STRIPERS! YES stripers dancing naked on a metal pole. STRIPERS!
BARYSHNIKOV insists that, that is what he captured of the Dominican Culture; he said it in his own words in all the interviews he gave and in his little glossy handout.

I was in a state of shock, as I walked around I felt so embarrassed, and I felt embarrassed that this man who I admire had this absolutely wrong and stupid idea of what the Dominican Culture is and that he actually presented it in my own country, I felt appalled that Mr. Freddy Ginebra (Owner of Casa De Teatro) a man who I have a great deal of respect for had the audacity of allowing this man to expose his erroneous idea of our culture in his establishment, and I felt pity for Mr. BARYSHNIKOV for not having the slightest idea of what the Dominican Culture and it National Dance consists of.

I can truly say that my country lacks strip clubs and stripers, and wherever Mr. BARYSHNIKOV went to get his grove on was not a Dominican Culture spot which by the pictures I have to say that THOSE WERE NOT DOMINICAN WOMEN either.

“Dominican Moves” not only is a lack of respect but also an insult to the Dominican Women, the Dominican National Dance and the Dominican Culture.

I suggest Mr. BARYSHNIKOV stay longer in my beautiful island; visit other places besides a Strip Club where sluts dance naked on a pole, read, learn what the real Dominican Culture is so you can realize that your exposition has nothing to do with our culture or our music, or our dances. And next time you are going to make a photograph exhibit of naked women dancing a pole name it as it is, I suggest “SLUTS” that way when people go they are not in shock and appalled like me. Don’t use my country, my culture, my music, my dance as a name or a theme for your nights out at strip clubs.

And Mr. Freddy Ginebra, like I said I’m appalled and embarrassed that you allowed such an exhibit in Casa De Teatro, I have traveled half the world and I have gone to best museums and Galleries in the world and I know what art is, I am sure I understand art that you would never dream of understanding, and I have to say, That exhibit was far from what it was said to be.

To close, I noticed that all the newspapers in Santo Domingo promoted the exhibit and I have to say that Dominicans suffer from a big problem; they praise and support everything from outsiders, instead of doing the same for your/our own people. Don’t give merit to who doesn’t deserve it.

Rita Batista

Forget me not..

2008-07-30T16:46:00.001-04:00

Forget me not I am still here

Forget me not swimming in tears

Forget me not don't think im shallow

Forget me not cause I wont follow

Forget me not just keep me high

Forget me not so I can fly

Forget me not because I ache

Forget me not keep me awake

Forget me not I will not stay

Forget me not to be your game

Forget me not and stay with me

Forget me not so I can breath...

2008-06-01T19:28:00.001-04:00

If I met me now...I would'nt know me.

2008-05-06T01:11:00.001-04:00

What do I love about myself? That is a good question. Thanks for asking. I'll look into that and get back to you.

2008-05-02T21:49:00.001-04:00

Voy a dejar... que mi guitarra diga todo lo que yo....no se decir por mi.

2008-04-23T14:10:00.001-04:00

The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.

~William Safire

Love Me

2008-03-04T15:55:00.004-05:00

Love me Beautiful

Love me Gorgeous

Love me Glamorous

Love me Hot

Love me Ugly

Love me Pretty

Love me Tall

Love me Short

Love me Silly

Love me Serious

Love me Kind

Love me Mad

Love me Angry

Love me Happy

Love me Plain

Love me Cold

Love me Sick

Love me Old

Love me confused

Love me Smart

Love me Dumb

Love me Scared

Love me Brave

Love me Young

Love me Old

Love me Bald

Love me Funny

Love me Pink

Love me Blue

Love me all

Love me true

Love me Sad

Love me For me

Love me always

Happy Birthday to me.

2008-02-28T07:40:00.003-05:00

umjum..

....

2008-02-09T08:28:00.000-05:00

There is so much a person can take,
and everything must come to an end
sooner or later.....

Paula: The start of something new..LOL

2008-01-19T11:28:00.001-05:00

2008-01-09T18:17:00.000-05:00

I am beyond Tired. I am so exhausted. My bones hurt, my head is pounding none stop.
my neck is as stiff as marble floors and all I see when I close my eyes trying to rest is planes, planes with blue tails, a lot of blue tailed planes.

I miss Pau. I miss you. I miss home.

New Year rosolutions anyone?

2008-01-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

My New Year resolution is simple, work hard or actually work lol and by this time next year be ready to move back HOME! Simple right? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Bad Memory

2007-12-07T11:18:00.001-05:00

I have always had bad memory but damm it
my memory is just getting worse.
People tell me to take memory power,
but i always think that if you can
remember to take memory power every day, then you
don’t need it. Plus I always forget to buy it.
Sometimes I write myself a note to help me remember
something. But I’ll read it later and it makes no
sense. “Nutcracker? ACK? MA?" Why did I write that? Or I’ll
think of something in the middle of the night and
write it down in the dark. In the morning I can’t read
my own writing. “Don’t porgat to guy chadder gheees”
What? I try to remember to write more clearly. …but
then I forget.

My memory is getting worse. Did I already say that?
I'll be at a friends house or something and someone’s
boyfriend or girlfriend is coming at me and I can’t
remember their name. So I quickly start to go through
the alphabet. A – Alex, Alexia, Amanda…no. B –Betty,
Bernardo, Butter…um...no. C – .…I’ve forgotten all the names
that start with C. Or the best, Sometimes I hear a
song and can’t remember who sings it. It’ll drive me
crazy the whole day. And whoever is with me at the
moment, It almost hurts to have the answer at the very
tip of my tongue, I'll try to hum the song, but for
some strange reason people think I don't make any
sense. Then at 3 in the morning, I’ll wake up and say
it! "Lisette Melendez!!” It's really scary. Then I
write it down. …but in the morning I’ve forgotten
again and I can’t read what I wrote.

*sigh*

Recordando a mi abuela querida..

2007-12-05T12:36:00.000-05:00

La violetera

mi hombre

Polichinela

Caramba

Agua que no has de beber

Mimosa

Rosa de Madrid

Los puentes de Paris

Mala entraña

Fru fru

You think you own me? Oh I forgot you do own me! LOL

2007-11-26T08:57:00.000-05:00

I absolutely love this commercial!

Hasta la Victoria Siempre

2007-11-09T09:37:00.000-05:00

Poor Dolphins :(

2007-11-01T12:31:00.000-04:00

HELP STOP THE LARGETS AND CRUELEST SLAUGHTER OF DOLPHINS IN THE WORLD.

PLEASE.

SEE HOW U CAN HELP, CLICK HERE

Frustration

2007-10-17T11:30:00.001-04:00

This weeks funniest

2007-09-13T17:57:00.000-04:00

OK my week has been busy!!And I have laughed a lot! Here are some of the reasons why.

Kid Pebble Get it? LMFAO!

Britney's Inner Dialog Y'all LMFAO!

Head in the Clouds! LOL!

Leave Her, Him, It Alone! LOL!

**In Walmart on bluetooth with Ceci**
Me: Ceci you think I should buy another one of those 3 dolars Flash lights?
Ceci: Another one?
Me: Yeah... um I don't know I just saw them and thought maybe we will need another one for you...
Ceci:Yeah buy another flashlight for me..um.. we might need it for when a crazy serial killer runs after us in the woods on our road trip to Boston.
Me: LMFAO!!!!

Paula

2007-09-07T10:22:00.000-04:00

A day like today, 9 years ago,
I was given the most amazing, beautiful,
sweetest, smartest little girl.

Happy Birthday Paula
Mommy Loves You Very Much.

And then there was light!

2007-08-21T08:47:00.001-04:00

People! Let's Save the earth just one light buld at a time!
I took this video from the amazin blog of Dorothy Surrenders
with the purpose of spredeading the word.
Although i have to say that i wont be joing the cause, Because
sadly this fluorescent lighting has a flicker that's actually a
Migraine trigger, and we all know that I suffer from chronic
Migrains. :(
But those of you who don't please support the cause.
For more information visit Just One

The Better Umbrella

2007-08-18T11:34:00.000-04:00

This was so refreshing for me, and I am not talking about how today, I was totally drenched in water by the EVERYDAY rain of Miami.
(4 years later I don’t know why they call it “The sunshine state”
There is hardly any Sun!!

But anyway…what I mean by “refreshing” is this new “Cover” of that Riahhna
Song “Umbrella”. All my friends love the song, they sing that “ella ella eh eh eh” part all the time, Some even have the song as their great me tone.(Chino to be more specific). But me... um um, nope. I was not having it, I was not having that J-Z in it, and I was not having the fact that all I understood from Riahhna was in fact “ella ella eh eh” !! Don’t get me wrong, the young girl is talented and soon to be the next "Beyonce" (Whatever that means) but the song was not doing it for me at all.

Mandy Moore (Who may I add I have no idea what she sings) She completely “FIXED” this song, So much that I actually understand the words in the song,(and J-Z? Soo not missed) and I really like it,I really really like this song.
So you see,"Covers" are not always a bad copy, or a funny copy of the original, Sometimes, like now, the "Cover" may just be much much better.

Here are the lyrics for those of you who have like me never understood a word of the very pretty song.

You had my heart
and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines
but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the Dark
You can see shiny Cars
that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because...

When the sun shines
We’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella eh eh)

These fancy things,
will never come in between
You're my entity
Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard
Together we'll mend your heart
Because ...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella

You can run into my Arms
That's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
(There's no distance in between our love)
Gonna let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more ooohh
Because ...

When the sun shines
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath
I'mma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Told you we still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(ella ella eh eh eh)

It's raining
Ooo baby it's raining (raining)
baby come into me
Come into me
It's raining
Ooo baby it's raining
Come into me
Come into me

Damm Photoshop!

2007-08-17T08:24:00.000-04:00

Should I even say more? Why do I always hear or read about women
That wants to look like the models/actress on the covers of magazines?
Hello!! They are not real! So unless you go on a cover of Magazines like “Elle,
Vogue, GQ, Maxim ect.. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE THAT,
At least not in real life. And the great part is that these magazines Photoshop, not only to make you look skinnier like they did with the poor Faith Hill, (that was just mean) no, no, no, look at Eva Langoria,
You will see how instead of deleting parts of her flesh they added! (Can u imagine? God the woman must be a toothpick! Ewww) and poor Cameron Diaz, Her skin is awful and they even deleted the way her abs look? Why? I think it looks hotter the real way!
And omg! Penelope Cruz! Um... where is that nice body with nice curves? IT DOES NOT EXIST! They made her boobs look rounder and bigger, her waist look smaller and uff look at the hair! (I knew it! no one can have such amazing hair damm it!)

But yeah... it does suck that we look at these woman and say wow, how pretty, how hot, what perfection only to realize that it’s all a cruel lie!

Soooo I confess! I used Photoshop on this picture of ME, because I never liked the way the skin looked (I don’t have great skin) but now that I saw these OTHER women I decided to put my original picture and my Photoshop picture together (like theirs) and you know what I found? I ACTUALLY LIKE MY ORIGINAL PICTURE MORE! And I’m LOVING my flaws.

Me + Today =

2007-08-14T14:02:00.000-04:00

Anger :

A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.

Anxious:
Full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried

Disappointed:

Depressed or discouraged by the failure of one's hopes or expectations.

Fear:

A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Stress:

Physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension.

Me, my belly, my baby, her first braclet, and her SONOGRAMS...

2007-08-12T18:46:00.000-04:00

...9 YEARS LATER.
Intact. ;)

My eight random facts

2007-08-08T09:03:00.000-04:00

Ok so Minnie posted this on her blog and so she broke the rules and just tagged 1 person (whatev haha) I decided to do it anyway and I am tagging NO ONE! LOL and here they are:

8* I suffer from chronic migraines that are extremely painful.

7* I can eat all the shrimp i want whenever I want (Sorry
chaparita I only do that "thing" because I hate chicken and
it makes me not feel so disgusted by it when I try to eat it
lol! But hey it works!)

6* I have been hooked on Fruit roll ups for more than 3 years.

5* I am allergic in a very DEADLY WAY to aspirin.

4* I am terrified of heights

3* I think Myspace is very addictive LOL.

2* I crack my knuckles constantly

1* I am not a narcissist I just like taking pictures of models and body parts and right now I have to settle for myself LOL.

What was i thinking?

2007-08-04T09:18:00.000-04:00

There comes a point when you realize
That "change" will never happen
That "promises" are blown away by the wind
That "apologies" are either just a way out
Or most of the time is not even an option
And that "denial" really ticks you off.

What was I thinking?.....

When you reach this point you just want to run,
"Fly away" if only you could.

2007-08-01T12:12:00.000-04:00

"What's worse than a politcal man? A Political Woman!"

-- Rita B.--

Yes I totally reserved the rights for that quote.

P.S. Babe, I love you, but that drives me insane.

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUDGE ME?

2007-07-31T18:14:00.002-04:00

So ok... I did say I was done with the dream-clicking-googling-meaning-bullshit but let's face it, I am Latina and I am Dominican and we believe in this stuff! Pathetic! But Whatev! So here it goes.

Last night i had a dream with 3 of my friends who happen to be very dear to me. I won’t go into details of this dream, but i have to say that it has me in a very shitty mood today, yeah, i know "it's just a stupid dream" but it's not just the dream that has me in this fucked-up-pissed-off-angry-ready-to-kick-the-wall-mood! ohhh noo.. it's not just the dream... whew!

As I was saying..

It's like this: I have tried to be a good friend to my friends, I have tried to be supportive when needed to, and I have stayed away when I thought was better for their own good. I have been there to listen when they have needed and I have tried to give and help as much as I can and as much as the word "friend" allows me to. And yes, I have received from them the same or actually to be fair I have received the same from 2 of these 3 friends, the third one, which seems to be the most judgmental one, the most, hurtful one when it comes to words, with his lets say "jokes", is the one who happens to just receive and not give, (brb 3:06 pm) …….(ok back I just ate the most amazing chicken shish kebab) I was saying… I don't give him my friendship to receive anything but ill be dammed if I give it to only receive negativity and thoughtless hurtful comments straight to my face and behind my back.

I think it’s been more than 2 weeks since this happened (what I’m about to finally tell you) and quite frankly it hurt me so much, and bugged me so much, that it took me like three days to “get over it” something like that (yeah obviously I am so not over it I know!)

It was days after the new baby... and I was so happy and excited to go see her, me and my best friend (he is gay, and we have the most weird friendship ever since this day he has not spoken to me, yeah somehow after this shit I ended up being the bad one? WTF?) we went to the couple’s house, as we were all just totally drooling over the beautiful baby comments flew here and there without a pause coming from both my best friend and the new daddy, if I said “oh she is so cute!! I want one!!” I would get an immediate attack from both but more from the new “daddy” like this “for what? To look her? Haha” or “for what do you want another baby Rita? To look at her in the crib for 2 days and then give her away? Ha ha ha”

Um...this is funny? Really...

And yeah…I played along just like I always do when this person does this to me, since these “attacks” (I’m sorry if you “the reader” finds that word too harsh, I’ve come to realize that is what it is) have always been part of my friendship with the “new daddy” but the thing is that only today It has hit me and, there was always something for him to attack me with me, whether it was my tattoo that he did not like, or my day dreaming, or my music choice, my choice of other friends,my realationships or anything!! And no, I cannot say, no matter how upset, or hurt, I am, that he is a bad person, or a bad friend, he simply is irrelevant in my life. But let’s go on with that wonderful day….

Then I spotted an album of sonograms ONLY (which totally shocked me, please forgive my ignorance my Paula is 9 years old which means she was born in 1998, not 2007, and those who know me… know that I found out I was pregnant when I was 5 months already.) As I saw this I said “wow that’s a lot of sonograms!” And guess what I got in return? Yep! Another immediate attack!! “ No Rita that’s not a lot of sonograms that’s what “normal mothers have, they save the sonograms of their babies you didn’t save anything” THIS SAID BY A GAY MAN WHO WILL NEVER BE A MOTHER.(duh) And oh, forgive me for being such a bad bad mother!! In 1998 they didn’t sell the handbook for the PERFECT MOM and I sure did not read anything anywhere that said that I had to carry around my sonograms for 9 years and show them to ALL MY FRIENDS! OR MAYBE I SHOULD TAPE THEM TO MY STOMACH (Yeah, I have them; no it’s not a whole album it’s like 6, HANG ME!) THEN CAME THIS! “Rita…Do you even miss Paula at all? THAT SAID BY A MAN WHO HAD BEEN A FATHER FOR LIKE UMM… A MINUTE! I am sure that when he gets the what being a dad is, if he ever ever remembers that he asked me that, he is going to feel really stupid.

So... Yeah I don’t think that anyone has the right to judge me, and if that includes my best friend who I adore more than many people in my life, (many), it sure includes everybody else. No one knows what happening in others people’s life, and people like the “new daddy” who don’t give a shit what’s going on with your friends life anyway should not even be thinking of judging to begin with. And especially when you aren’t all that perfect either. What’s really sad about all this is the losing a friend. The new mommy. Who i love dearly, but I know that we will never be same because he is her husband and now father of her child. For that if it comes to that, I am sorry. And deeply sad. I miss her already. :(

One Last thing though, when it comes to parenting wait more than 3 days of being a parent to start stepping all over other parents, and IF one day you think you are the best parent in the world, guess what? That STILL DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME OR ANYONE ELSE. Got it?

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.

Google mis Sueños

2007-07-28T19:27:00.001-04:00

Cuantas cosas no se dicen por ahi? ni se digan de la
infinidad de libros y de google search que hay para resolver
el problemita "que significara lo que soñe anoche?" habemos
algunos que nos despertamos a medio sueño a decirnos a
nostoros mismos "acuerdate --lagartos--" !!! Pero por dios! Y
que es eso? Ya uno no puede ni dormir en paz.. porque ahora
con un simple "click" disque que encuentras el "significado"
de tu sueño. Que por cierto la mayoria de las veces es
negativo.

Ejemplo : Soñarse con un Lagarto es señal de un falso amigo
que le va a dar una puñalada por la espalda.

Ahora digo yo... Ustedes creen que yo tenia que soñarme con
Lagartos (con el miedo tan grande que les tengo) para
enterarme de algo que ya sabia? No ombe! Obvio que esto es una
perdida de tiempo. Y si es verdad que se leen los sueños fuera
bueno que se leyeran ANTES DE QUE SUCEDIERAN LAS COSAS MALAS
NO DESPUES.

2007-07-17T18:26:00.000-04:00

It's that choking feeling again
i wish i knew what it meant
i've decided not to follow my
heart, or my beats, or that choking feelin ever again...

and, this time is not letting me breath
it's as if an invisible hand is squeezing
my throat,
it's a sadness inside but it wont let me cry
it's something ready to burst but it cant, and it wont

it's my heart just giving up, only on love,
not on me,
it's my whole body shaking, it's just me being so scared,
it's my mind that doesn't stop
I wish i had the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Amiga

2007-07-16T09:32:00.001-04:00

Me agarra justo cuando
voy a caerme, y si llego a caerme
siempre esta ahi para levantarme,
me hace reir
a carcajadas justo cuando
voy a llorar, y guarda los peores
de mis secretos en una caijita
de carton, me encuentra
justo cuando voy a perderme,
contesta el telefono
siempre que la llamo

Me escucha, aunque no me
entienda media palabra, y siempre
me brinda siempre todo su apoyo,
le preocupa de corazon hasta lo
que ocupa mi
barriguita, me quiere tanto mi amiquita,
y yo la quiero a ella con todo
el corazon! y hace ya 4 años que es
mas que mi amiga
es mi hermana!

2007-07-11T17:54:00.000-04:00

Siempre es dificl dejar ir algo que quieres

Aun mas si lo quieres con todas tus fuerzas.

Se te hace dificl hasta respirar.

Apenas respiro.....

Es inevitable sentirse vacio,

Te falta algo ecencial de tu cuerpo,

de tu vida, de tus suenos

Te falta el motor de tu corazon,

te falta lo que te da ganas de ver
la luz del siguiente dia.

Me faltas tu.....

Las lagrimas te brotan de los ojos sin parar

Lloras, lloras tanto que llegas a un punto que

llorassin llorar, sin lagrimas, sin muecas,

Lloro por dentro.....

Piensas, Piensas tanto que te duele la cabeza

Tratas de entender como algo tan bello te puede causar tanto dolor

Como algo tan puro te puede envenenar el corazon, dañar tanto

Pienso sin pensar...

Dejar ir a alguien que quieres tanto duele,Mata, aniquila,

Te dejo ir....
Rita B.

June 27, 2007 - 6:56 Pm.

HISTERIA (PRIMERA Y ULTIMA VERSION DE "LA LEY"

2007-07-11T09:30:00.001-04:00

Te Dejo pedazos de este Corazon
maltradao y ultrajado por los
desprecios de tu amor.
Senti dentro tortura,
dominacion mental
tu interes en locura,
estas en muros de papel.

Mientes sin razon,
Besas sin amor,
y yo perdiendo el tiempo
por imaginarme en el espacio
y las nubes

Mientras me derrumbas
Con falsa dulcura
Con tu machismo
Sin querrer

Mientes sin razon,
Besas sin amor,
Nececito fuerzas para
No dejar que sufra mas mi corazon
Y olvidarme de que existes
Quiero alejarme de tu amor
Para aliviar este dolor

Voy a intenter volver amar
Rehacer mi historia
Y olvidar lo que paso
Para enterrar este dolor

Por cientos de dudas
Y por no ver tus ojos
Me lleno de amagura
Tan cerca de la verdad

Mientes sin razon,
Besas sin amor,
Nececito fuerzas para
No dejar que sufra mas mi corazon
Y olvidarme de que existes
Quiero alejarme de tu amor
Para aliviar este dolor

Voy a intenter volver amar
Rehacer mi historia
Y olvidar lo que paso
Para enterrar este dolor

Presiento locura
Apoderraze de mi voz
Desbordo amargura
Al descubrir la verdad!

Renunciar a mis penas
Olvidar que es de histeria
Las palabras que el silencio se llevó
Histeria

Renunciar a mis penas
Olvidar que es de histeria
Las palabras que el silencio pronunció
Histeria, Histeria
Histeria